SELF DESTRUCTION .

Time: 4:21

Challenges and pressures in life come at us from every direction. Sometimes we plow through and sometimes we’re stopped in our tracks in need of re-grouping. Sometimes we see ourselves as loyal subjects prepared to do battle but in reality we are far from that. Our subconscious tells us we’re not worthy and we sabotage ourselves even though we have the tools for success at hand.

But Do I not deserve success?

Do i try hard enough

or is my "Enough" Not quite "enough"

I once again allowed myself to slip into and then wallow in, my own self pity. My life journey with all its’ twists and turns has the potential to deliver priceless growth. All of us have such potential and it befriends or confronts us everyday, depending upon our outlook on our constantly unfolding life experience. But it just seems like mine doesn't work out to plan. The fruits of my handwork are left too rot. 

As my fruit was not good enough.

I often find myself overwhelmed with self doubt when it comes to my own skills and potential.

I don't see a future for myself.

Study and create.

 Do the work before it does you.

 Get back on your feet and never leave yourself for dead

 while there is still a creative breath to be had

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Iv never quite understood why i feel like this.

Like everything iv ever stood for,

Everything i have ever accomplished

Every impact i have imprinted on this world

On its people

On its creatures

On my friends.

Was for nothing.

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I'm sorry i haven't blogged for a while.

I'm sorry it has to be like this.

I Get weird feelings when i get in this mood.

I feel trapped between my eyes.

Between the mass of bone and muscle.

between the ugliness that lays around and inside.

The feeling of wanting to break free.